The Down Side to the Dream...
So we have looked at the dream, or more specifically what your dream should be, and although I have absolutely no idea what that dream is for you, you certainly do. I suppose that it is possible that you have not really found that thing that motivates you out of your socks yet, and it could be that you are not sure whether your dream is really YOUR dream. I have met people who for many years believed that their fathers’ dream for them was their dream. Sometimes it was a spouse or a sibling or a close friend or maybe even a mentor that injected their dream into another person’s dream muscle. Now, I know that the term “dream muscle” sounds very phallic but I’m going to stay with it anyway because it is probably one of the best analogies we can use for this concept. So if it helps, try to visualise a bicep or leg muscle rather than us have to “R” rate this article just because you have a dirty mind. So, Getting back to the dream muscle there are a few things we have to realise:
1) Everybody has one
2) Some are bigger than others
3) Sometimes they are out of shape or they have shrunk because of lack of use.
4) They need to be exercised regularly to stay healthy.
5) Nobody can exercise it for you.
6) If it’s weak you are less than optimally effective. A lot less.
This analogy is getting better as I type. If we imagine in our mind a person’s shape or level of fitness as representing the health of their dream muscle, firstly we see people who have never worked on their dream muscle their entire life. Nobody has taught them to dream, that it is OK to have a dream, or they just didn’t want to listen. They manage to just get through their daily or monthly goals with just enough dream to get them to their next pay cheque. Nobody has shared the concept of the value in their own dream. These people invariably end up working their lives away expending what little motivation they have on someone else’s dream, then go home every night and throw their brains at a television set and cramming popcorn into their face with grubby fingers rather than putting their free time to better use. They are doing everything they can to be able to withstand or escape the nightmare and cannot even conceive of chasing a dream. They hate waking up in the morning and they negotiate with the alarm clock until the very last possible minute.
By the way, with very few exceptions a TV cannot be used to build your dream muscle. Did you know that your brain is actually more active sleeping than when you are watching TV! At least when you are sleeping you are dreaming, your mind is active. Watching TV allows the media moguls to do it for you. In justifying this observation, ask yourself how many times you’ve read a great novel and yet when the movie came out you were so disappointed with it because it was not at all how you had imagined it should be. Personally, my mind immediately thinks of the recent Lord of The Rings trilogy. As much as I might have enjoyed the movies, I was so much more entertained by reading the books. The characters were as I wanted them to be. In fact, even the author’s intention, most times is irrelevant. I don’t read a book to please the author – I do it to please me!
The next kind of person is the person who had a BIG dream – once. But its shrunk! It was expected to be big and bouncy, flexible and strong, powerful and punchy all on its own. But, it just couldn’t maintain because all of that persons attention was focussed elsewhere, drawing the nourishment away from the dream muscle. I’ll not go through the whole TV thing again here, but you cannot expect your day to be an exciting motivational activity when you mind never works on the dream. Your heart will follow what you think about most and my guess is that too many of the patrons of my local mall are spending too much time thinking about ”Big Fat Gypsy Weddings”, “The Biggest Losers” or ”Keeping Up With The Kardashians”. Having a dream once doesn’t mean that it can sustain inevitably. The dream takes work. How many people do you know who end up looking nothing like their fit, trim, athletic selves of twenty years earlier? Just because you played first team rugby in high school doesn’t mean you can look and feel like that when you hit thirty-something. Many times the extended beer bellies are more reminiscent of a scene from Alien than the buff bodies that we think we have in our minds’ eye.
Another type of dreamer is the one who doesn’t stick to their dream training program. Although they realise that they need to build the dream muscles it is too much like hard work to stick with the program that means the most to them. Maybe they don’t really believe it is possible for them. Maybe their self esteem (or someone else) tells them they’re not good enough. They are flighty and unfocussed rather training on the treadmill where they can chat to their buddy, or check out the chicks! One month they treat one thing as their BIG dream, the next month it’s something totally different. They just can’t seem to stick with one thing and just as they may be starting to make some progress, they change to something else. There is no real focus. No dedication. No commitment. No pain, no gain. I am not by any means implying that your dream can’t change. Of course they can. Any dream can grow. It can be enhanced and it can be expanded on. We change, why can’t our dream? Sometimes our dream can change in an entirely different direction when we realise a new found talent or passion or love. I knew a man once who was absolutely sold out to his dream of climbing the corporate ladder and becoming his definition of success, when one mild heart attack changed his whole approach to life. Suddenly the things that money couldn’t buy became the one eyed focus of his dream. The point is that although the dream can change, it cannot continuously change.
Is it just me, or does it seem that there are more and more things in this world that are designed to distract us from our dreams and in fact anything of lasting importance? So many things, in reality, are just obsessive time wasters and they are the sorts of things you can waste hours on but with absolutely no lasting consequence. Soap operas, PC games, FaceBook, arbitrary cellphone texting, chat lines, even sports channels etc.. All I’m saying is that in two weeks time you can remember nothing and there is nothing to show for it. Although I am not condemning these things in entirety, so often its these things that detract us from the dream and the things that are really important in life like quality time with our family, learning a new skill, gaining new knowledge of value, building a relationship, etc.. A good rule of thumb maybe would be to ask ourselves at times “what will the value of this time spent be in two weeks time?”
Then lastly, there is the real dreamer. He’s the guy at the mall who is not looking left or right, not window shopping. He’s walking at a brisk, upright and determined pace to where he is going to post his letter. That’s it. Everything he does is about finding the shortest, quickest or easiest way to his dream. It’s urgent, it’s important and he’s going to move towards it no matter what. He’s the guy who works out at the gym, sticking to a program 4 or 5 days a week, winter summer, spring and autumn. He’s the guy who cycles his prescribed distance whether it’s raining or shining, freezing or boiling. He’s out there and he’s getting it down. He doesn’t care if his buddies can make it or not. He’s out there anyway. Often these are the guys that are training on their own, because there are so few that can be found that are sold out to their dream!
How do you think the story ends for these people? Is it worth it? Could you become one of them? In answering these questions for you, be careful that you make sure that you first know what your dream really is.
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Quote of the Month
“Success…seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.”
By: Conrad Hilton.
Book of the Monthc of Th
The Magic of Thinking Big
By: David J. Schwartz
This is the book that should be read once every year. Open up your mind and dream big. The sky is the limit!
Set your goals high...then exceed them.
It touches on all of the key principles of life: dreaming; belief; fears; Attitude, goals, leadership and many more. This book provides useful methods for getting the most out of your job, your marriage and family life and your community.
You are what you think you are.
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By: Leanke, From River Place”
Joke of the Month
A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open.
The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left open. She peeks inside and sees 3 golf balls and $1,000.
She confronts her husband and asks for an explanation.
He explains "Every time I was unfaithful to you, I put a golf ball in the drawer." She figures 3 times in 30 years isn't bad and asks "But what about the $1,000?" He replied "Whenever I got a dozen golf balls, I sold them"
Song of the Month
“I Believe ICan Fly”
“This is an inspirational song touching on our inner being. It gives assurance as to the numerous possibilities that we can actually attain from life if we only believe in ourselves and in our dreams.